Recent Polls

October 28, 2003

For making us wait this long for the new update, DarkNova should be... kidnapped and imprisoned in a secret underground bunker, forced to write new LamerKatz material all day under threat of torture 34.0% forgiven. He's a busy guy, what with a full time job now, you know? 23.6% stabbed to death by 1000 schoolchildren with plastic cafeteria sporks 17.0% slowly electrocuted over the course of several days using nothing but a solar panel and some AA batteries for power 4.7% run over repeatedly with a Segway, over and over and over, until he's dead or the Segway's batteries run out 4.7% force-fed flesh-eating, parisitic worms which slowly eat the stomach lining away, then follow the spinal cord up to the brain. And they tickle too. 4.7% shot out of a battleship's main gun into shark-infested waters with 500-pound weights tied to his body 3.8% crushed beneath a hydraulic press, a la "Terminator", then studied in secret robotics lab for years for some reason 2.8% blown up, not all at once, but with a timed detonation over 5 minutes of 200 fireworks spaced evently across his body, all while hanging over Time Square on New Years 1.9% microwaved on HIGH for 15-20 minutes, depending on the wattage of the microwave, then let cool for 3 minutes before handling 0.9% marinated overnight, barbequeued over hot coals for 4 hours, seasoned to taste, then eaten in a great ceremonial feast 0.9% disemboweled, then dropped off a high building with his intenstines tied to the top, and also given a really bad wedgie beforehand 0.9% Total Votes: 106

June 12, 2003

How soon should the next update be? I'm going to submit this, then check the front page. If there's not a new update, YOU DIE! 56.7% A webpage that isn't updated at least once a month should be shut down. You've got a month. 16.0% Never. I don't read the site. I don't answer polls either. I don't know why I'm here. 9.5% You used to do weekly updates. Start doing that again! 9.1% Go ahead and take a year off. You've earned it, and we'll certainly survive! 5.3% Daily updates forever! Tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day... 3.4% Total Votes: 263

February 17, 2003

I'm not responsible for how this one turns out. S 37.2% H 22.6% I 20.7% T 19.6% Total Votes: 368

January 17, 2003

Doom III is going to suck, unless it has... A single player campaign so enthralling that I'll play through it 20 times and still have fun. 25.2% Monsters and sound so frightening that I'll have nightmares and be afraid to turn the light off. 17.6% A CD-Key system so flawed that I can w4r3z it and still play online. 17.6% Multiplayer mode so awesomely designed that I'll have a blast even when I'm getting owned 43 to -7. 17.0% Network code so fast and small that I'll play with a LAN-like connection over my 28.8 modem. 10.1% Security so perfect that aimbots, wallhacks, or cheats of any kind will be a thing of the past. 8.8% Graphics so good that my jaw will be stuck permanantly open in amazement. 3.8% Total Votes: 159

Novermber 29, 2002

Did you answer the previous poll question correctly? What was the previous poll?! 36.4% I never vote on polls, not even for this one! 26.7% Yes! 17.0% No! 13.1% I didn't vote! 6.8% Total Votes: 206 You have already voted!

October 19, 2002

The next update should include... This question is merely a ruse to make us believe page will be updated again, which it won't be. 29.3% LamerKatz Chronicles 2, finally! 22.0% 2 words: streaming p0rn. 17.1% The long-lost, unpublished WebVoid #13! 14.0% A multiplayer Quake3 java applet that you can play through your browser. 7.3% A new section where you win massive cash prizes just for reading! 5.5% A new poll! One that is actually worth answering, this time. 4.3% Some sort of subscription-based, members-only area with tons of cool stuff! 0.6% Total Votes: 164

August 24, 2002

Today's poll has been cancelled. Why are there still 2 options? 56.5% Okay, then I won't vote. 43.5% Total Votes: 260