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Lamers since 2/28/99
Cool Stuff: LamerKatz Chronicles Reloaded!!! | White Screen of Death!!! | Never-Ending Secret Order Initiation!!!

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Recent Polls

October 28, 2003
For making us wait this long for the new update, DarkNova should be...
kidnapped and imprisoned in a secret underground bunker, forced to write new LamerKatz material all day under threat of torture 34.0%
forgiven. He's a busy guy, what with a full time job now, you know? 23.6%
stabbed to death by 1000 schoolchildren with plastic cafeteria sporks 17.0%
slowly electrocuted over the course of several days using nothing but a solar panel and some AA batteries for power 4.7%
run over repeatedly with a Segway, over and over and over, until he's dead or the Segway's batteries run out 4.7%
force-fed flesh-eating, parisitic worms which slowly eat the stomach lining away, then follow the spinal cord up to the brain. And they tickle too. 4.7%
shot out of a battleship's main gun into shark-infested waters with 500-pound weights tied to his body 3.8%
crushed beneath a hydraulic press, a la "Terminator", then studied in secret robotics lab for years for some reason 2.8%
blown up, not all at once, but with a timed detonation over 5 minutes of 200 fireworks spaced evently across his body, all while hanging over Time Square on New Years 1.9%
microwaved on HIGH for 15-20 minutes, depending on the wattage of the microwave, then let cool for 3 minutes before handling 0.9%
marinated overnight, barbequeued over hot coals for 4 hours, seasoned to taste, then eaten in a great ceremonial feast 0.9%
disemboweled, then dropped off a high building with his intenstines tied to the top, and also given a really bad wedgie beforehand 0.9%

Total Votes: 106


June 12, 2003
How soon should the next update be?
I'm going to submit this, then check the front page. If there's not a new update, YOU DIE! 56.7%
A webpage that isn't updated at least once a month should be shut down. You've got a month. 16.0%
Never. I don't read the site. I don't answer polls either. I don't know why I'm here. 9.5%
You used to do weekly updates. Start doing that again! 9.1%
Go ahead and take a year off. You've earned it, and we'll certainly survive! 5.3%
Daily updates forever! Tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day... 3.4%

Total Votes: 263


February 17, 2003
I'm not responsible for how this one turns out.
S 37.2%
H 22.6%
I 20.7%
T 19.6%

Total Votes: 368
January 17, 2003
Doom III is going to suck, unless it has...
A single player campaign so enthralling that I'll play through it 20 times and still have fun. 25.2%
Monsters and sound so frightening that I'll have nightmares and be afraid to turn the light off. 17.6%
A CD-Key system so flawed that I can w4r3z it and still play online. 17.6%
Multiplayer mode so awesomely designed that I'll have a blast even when I'm getting owned 43 to -7. 17.0%
Network code so fast and small that I'll play with a LAN-like connection over my 28.8 modem. 10.1%
Security so perfect that aimbots, wallhacks, or cheats of any kind will be a thing of the past. 8.8%
Graphics so good that my jaw will be stuck permanantly open in amazement. 3.8%

Total Votes: 159

Novermber 29, 2002
Did you answer the previous poll question correctly?
What was the previous poll?! 36.4%
I never vote on polls, not even for this one! 26.7%
Yes! 17.0%
No! 13.1%
I didn't vote! 6.8%

Total Votes: 206
You have already voted!

October 19, 2002
The next update should include...
This question is merely a ruse to make us believe page will be updated again, which it won't be. 29.3%
LamerKatz Chronicles 2, finally! 22.0%
2 words: streaming p0rn. 17.1%
The long-lost, unpublished WebVoid #13! 14.0%
A multiplayer Quake3 java applet that you can play through your browser. 7.3%
A new section where you win massive cash prizes just for reading! 5.5%
A new poll! One that is actually worth answering, this time. 4.3%
Some sort of subscription-based, members-only area with tons of cool stuff! 0.6%

Total Votes: 164

August 24, 2002
Today's poll has been cancelled.
Why are there still 2 options? 56.5%
Okay, then I won't vote. 43.5%

Total Votes: 260


Results of Older Polls

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