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Lamers since 2/28/99
Cool Stuff: LamerKatz Chronicles Reloaded!!! | White Screen of Death!!! | Never-Ending Secret Order Initiation!!!

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Current Poll: LamerKatz is 5 years old! How much longer will we last?
Current Photoshop Challenge: Symphony in Blue Denim

LamerKatz.com Back Online
12/23/2010 | 2:30:14 PST - DarkNova
I finally got around to bringing LamerKatz.com back online after more than a year of downtime.

Don't get your hopes up about more updates. This is likely the last one. The forums have also been removed because I don't really have time to monitor them. But hey, I'm still alive and kicking. I brought this site back online because it was really too much of a shame to let all this content disappear forever. So please enjoy it and share it with others. Any longtime readers who are still out there, feel free to leave a comment or email me to say hi.

Signing off,
- DarkNova
Add Comment | View Comments (37)

6/10/2008 | 0:47:49 PST - DarkNova
Anyone still here?

6 Years of LamerKatz
2/28/2005 | 3:01:43 PST - DarkNova
Finding the right balance between "LamerKatz updates" and "a social life" has not been an easy challenge. In fact, it's been a great struggle for me. Many people have called me on it recently, telling me to put more effort into my projects.

I admit I was in denial for a long time. I thought that somehow things would happen on their own. That somehow I'd have the time, not today of course, but maybe tomorrow, to buckle down accomplish something. Sadly, things don't always work out as you hope, and it's easy to fall into a trap from which escape can be very difficult. And I can't help but feel that I've failed the community that gave me so much support.

But today, on the 6th anniversary of LamerKatz, I give my solemn promise that things are going to start to be VERY DIFFERENT around here.

Very different... Some days, it just hurts me to give so much. On many recent occasions I've pulled all-nighters just to get another LamerKatz update posted. These constant LamerKatz updates have really taken a toll on me and my social life. And it's time I shy away from my nonstop LamerKatz updating to focus on a different aspect of life... having a social life.

(Yes, in case you were wondering, the first 3 paragraphs were the lead-in for this punchline. You probably thought that by "very different" I meant I'd start updating more that I have been. Nope, sorry! I was referring to the "social life." Tee hee hee.)

Seriously though, we've had a good run, and even though I don't have the time to really keep LamerKatz alive as I'd like to, I'm not going to let it die. At the very least I'm going to keep it on life support, kind of in a state of suspended animation. But from here on out, the future of LamerKatz updates depends on you, the readers!

I think it would be very cool if LamerKatz became more of a community run site. Yes, this means I'm stepping down as the content-producing-powerhouse that you know me as. I've always been open to submissions, but they're going to be even more important now. In the somewhat near future you may see some changes happening around here to facilitate this. I don't know how well it will work, but it's worth a shot.

So there you have it. Once again, thanks to everyone for their support over the years. Remember that even though the main LamerKatz site has been in hibernation, the LamerKatz Forum is alive and kicking. Come say hi.

- DarkNova

LamerKatz 5th Anniversary! LamerKatz Chronicles Reloaded released!
2/28/2004 | 5:24:17 PST - DarkNova
The date was February 28, 1999. An amateur webmaster put the finishing touches on his website, then opened it to the public. That site became an Internet phenomenon, garnering worldwide attention and turning that webmaster into a minor Internet celebrity.

By sheer coincidence, that same very day, hundreds of miles away, little old me happened to open up the LamerKatz site too. And while that other webmaster probably went on to fame and fortune, I've just been kind of screwing around here, doing the same old thing. But hey, after 5 years, I'm still up and running, so I couldn't have done THAT bad of a job, right?

Yes folks, today marks the 5th anniversary of the LamerKatz website. If you had asked me 5 years ago whether I'd be running LamerKatz 5 years later, I probably would have said "Of course not, everyone knows that Y2K will destroy civilization as we know it." And yet, despite all odds, LK managed to survive. This past year has been especially interesting. In fact, I'd like to take a quick look at the top two moments of year 4:

Most Memorable LK Moments of Year 4

  • The first update
  • The second, and final update

    Argh, yeah it was a tough year. According to the front page, I had a grand total of 2 updates this year. But that's not quite true. LK suffered a server crash and I lost at least 2 previous updates. So it was more like 4 updates, which is 100% more than 2!

    So, what's the deal? As much fun as it is to work on this site, I just don't have as much time as I used to. I graduated college in June, and am now a full-time working man. Let me tell you, having a full time job puts a damper on those all-night Quake sessions I was used to in college. The lack of gaming time, coupled with the simple fact that there aren't as many people playing Quake3 as there used to, makes it hard to find new material. And even when I do find new material, finding the time to post it can be tough.

    With that said... No, I don't intend to shut down the website any time soon. I make no guarantees about updates, but, if anything else, LK will continue to serve as an archive for all the gaming humor we've managed to find. However, I expect that when Doom3 comes out, the gaming community will be reunited in a common game, and this site will get a fresh load of material and enthusiasm. Cross your fingers!

    And now, the moment you've all been waiting for:

  • LamerKatz Chronicles Reloaded has finally been released!! This is the "Warrion" demo from what would have been LamerKatz Chronicles 2 (which unfortunately was never, and will never be completed). It's note quite LKC2, but it's some seriously top-notch stuff. Also, the links to the original LamerKatz Chronicles have been fixed, so if you've never seen that before, now's the time to check it out!

  • Photoshop Challenge #7: Symphony in Blue Denim is officially underway on the forums. Get your entries in!
  • Two new E-Mail Funs: White Screen of Death and Right to Bare Aimbots (which is more of an E-Mail Education than an E-Mail Fun).
  • New NotQuake: The hilarious tale of the Cement Cuddlers!
  • Poll time! Today's poll is LamerKatz is 5 years old! How much longer will we last?

    Happy anniversary. Hopefully we'll make it to 6!
    - DarkNova

    LamerKatz update. No thanks to DarkNova!
    10/28/2003 | 1:38:49 PST - Bastaard
    Yes people!! No DarkNova updating the site this time! Your good friend Bastaard kicked DarkNova into a little corner of his room so i can update LamerKatz for a change. I only wish he'd stop crying, its getting on my nerves. It's bad enough his mom told me to clean his room while i was up there anyway... and this horrid smell of socks is choking me.... Ahwell! On with the update.

    We've got something old and new today. I found all this stuff under a pile of socks, pizzaboxes and cans of easy cheese. It wasn't that hard to find actually, the socks told me to lift the boxes. o_0

  • The Damned Interviews DarkNova I have no idea why, but he does find time to do interviews, but fails to please his fans... it's a strange world afterall.
  • E-Mail Fun: I Found a Way to Keep CD-Key Safe! He's right, i can't seem to find his Quake 3 CD anywhere here. The socks didn't know either.
  • Features: 12 Things you Never Knew about LamerKatz
  • Condumps: Vegeta! Vegeta! Vegeta!
  • Stories: LK Quiz #2 Look for the hidden cheat feature. :)
  • Photoshop Challenge #5: The Beach, Biotch! Hmmm, i should have changed the scores before i posted this...
  • NotQuake: LAN People Next week, article about Lan People's Socks.
  • NotQuake: What Gender is your Computer? DarkNova's computer is a chick. I can tell by the lipstick on the dvd dri... ewwww...
  • NotQuake: Professor's Revenge I should rename this to "Bastaard's Revenge" *evilgrin*

  • Deja Vu anyone? Don't be sad, i managed to squeeze some new stuff out of DarkNova just before he passed out and peed his pants. Great, how the heck am i going to clean THAT! Ahwell, on with the program. You guys check this out and i'll go see if i can find some sandpaper and superglue.

  • Photoshop Challenge #6: Wet and Messy FINALLY, he made up his mind! It took quite some slapping tho, i should sue him for giving me RSI. Good luck to everybody who participated and for those who didnt make it in this feature.... u suck :)
  • E-Mail Fun: Never-Ending Initiation of the Secret Order of the Sacred Aimbot Yes, stupid people still exist. Read all about how even you can join... the secret order.
  • E-Mail Fun: E-Mail Fun Grab Bag I know what you're thinking and you can stop touching yourself RIGHT NOW! Its about EMAIL.... sheesh o_0
  • Q2 Screenshots: Unhook grandad and join us for some good old Quake 2 screenies! Just dont forget to turn on the iron lung when you put him back.
  • Q3 Screenshots: I wonder if my trickhopping bunny picture of ryom is in there as well.
  • Quotes: People lose and say the stupidest things. No "Too hot for TV" censoring here. None of the names are changed. (i've got IP addresses for the highest bidder)
  • Stories: The Scream
  • NotQuake: How to Write Good No seph, i'm not like that to make a remark about this article to you... really...So if you would just figure it out for yourself, we can all get along fine.
  • NotQuake: Having Fun with a Poor Newbie who Thinks he's Being Hacked Or is he.....

  • Also, Check out this new Poll! The winning entry will be executed by yours truly :)

    Well people. That concludes todays update. Rest assured that no DarkNova's were hurt making this newspost...... well... not unrepairable damage anyway. I hope you had as much fun reading as i did trying out this new AIMbot DarkNova's been working on. And fatal1ty? I'm sorry dude. The one you preordered just broke down. :)

    LK server crash
    6/14/2003 | 2:19:15 PST - DarkNova
    Sometime Wednesday or Thursday the host computer serving lamerkatz.com suffered a motherboard failure and, as a result, corrupted both the primary hard drive and the backup hard drive that all backups had been made to. They were able to recover the mySQL database for the forum, but they lost basically all the other files for the page. I uploaded the whole site again from backups on my own hard drive, and it looks like everything is working okay now.

    • The last two news updates are toast. I'll try to recreate those.
    • All custom avatars on the forum are gone. See the announcement in the forum for important info on that.
    • The results gathered so far for the Poll were lost, so if you already voted on this one, go vote again!
    If you find any bugs (broken links, scripts that don't work, etc) please e-mail me.

    WebVoid's Guide to Mac Gaming, PSC #4, and more!
    11/29/2002 | 3:16:44 PST - DarkNova
    The word on the street is that some of you were getting tired of wating for this update... well you can't boycott the page now, or you'd miss out on all the wonderful new stuff posted today!

    The long lost, WebVoid #13 has been found...

    WebVoid's Guide to Mac Gaming

    Do you dare read it?

    No time to think of a catchy closing thing today... Just, enjoy!

    Stories, Flash, Screenshots, Photoshop Challenge, etc...
    10/19/2002 | 4:12:53 PST - DarkNova
    In an effort to stop the waves of hatemail I've been receiving recently ("update the site you #!*$%!!", "no updates for 2 months, @*!(% you!!", "order an X-10 camera today you piece of *$&@!!"), I've decided once again to update the site.
    New stuff:

    That should keep you busy for a bit. Good news is that something pretty big is coming up in the near future... You've been warned. Muahahaha....
    LamerKatz Link of the Day: EXTREME IRONING - the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt.

    The Long Lost Update
    8/24/2002 | 21:15:18 PST - DarkNova
    Well, it's been a harrowing couple of weeks, but I finally managed to update the site. Believe me, the delay upsets me a lot more than it does you. I first tried to update the site several weeks ago, but a sudden blimp accident knocked out my Internet connection. When that was finally repaired, I tried to update again, but got called away to perform a secret black ops mission in a 3rd world country. The plane crashed on the way back and I was forced to carry my crew 4,000 miles through the snow to the nearest Internet Cafe, which is where I am now, about to update the site... New stuff:

    That's it. Make it last.

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