Are you a nobody? Do you have no friends? Jealous of everyone else? Tired of living like gutter slime, enviously watching all the cool people who are much more popular and drive nicer cars than you?!?

Here is your a chance to change* your life!

( * your life probably won't change )

Just get yourself a LamerKatz t-shirt! Instantly you'll notice what an impact it will have on your life! Not only will you be making a bold fashion statement, but you'll have more friends, you'll smell nicer, gas will be cheaper, your sex life will go through the roof, and you won't have to do laundry as often (because you have an extra shirt)!

Testimonials

I'm not real popular at school and don't have many friends... Well, since I got my LamerKatz shirt people just won't stop talking to me! All they say is "where can I get aimbot?" and "I need CD-key," but it's better than nothing.

Cool shirt. I stole it off the clothesline in some guy's backyard. It's sure to keep me warm at night when I sleep in my cardboard box on the street.

I went into a McDonald's once with no shirt, and they refused to serve me! Well, the next day I came back wearing my LamerKatz shirt and there was no problem. What an awesome shirt!

The quality of my LamerKatz shirt is amazing. I was able to tear the shirt into strips and weave it into a rope which I used to scale the prison wall. Thanks, LamerKatz!

I like wearing my LamerKatz shirt to LAN parties. Then I can use an aimbot all night and if someone confronts me I get up and I'm like, "Dude, look at the shirt! I wouldn't use an aimbot!" Unfortunately during this time the aimbot kept on shooting people so they kicked my ass...

This is by far my favorite shirt, and I'd rather die than part with it. In fact, last week I got mugged and they wanted my shirt, but I wouldn't give it to them so they shot me in the spine and now I'm paralyzed from the waist down. It sucks, but hey... I've still got the shirt.

Each shirt is $15,000 dollars plus shipping.

But for this week only, we're offering these remarkable shirts for only $15! That is a 99.9% discount!!! HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SAY NO TO A 99.9% DISCOUNT??? YAAAAHAGGH DIE!!!11`

Yeah, so $15 plus shipping, okay?

The shipping is done through the US Postal Service. If you live in the US, I'll do standard "First-Class Mail" (1-3 days) which will be around $2 ($2.23 probably). You can estimate your shipping costs here (weight is 9.5 ounces, and it will be shipping from the 94024 area code).

International shipping is no problem, but expect to pay a bit more. Shipping to Europe, for example, seems to be around $7 to $8. To estimate your shipping, go here (package weight is 9.5 ounces). I'll assume you don't want to wait 4-6 weeks for the shirt, so I'll use "Airmail Letter-post" (4-7 days) by default.

When you order, there is a space to write comments or special instructions so just tell me if there's anything I should know.

Ahh yes, the all important question of quality... Honestly, these shirts are top-notch. The shirt itself is a Hanes Beefy-T. These are heavy duty shirts that last a long time (that damn Heat.net shirt in my closet just won't fall apart). The printing is a colorwax procedure (not silk screen) done by the guys at 99dogs.com, which means nice, vibrant color. I looked at samples from 3 different printing places, and these guys were the best (that's why it took me so long to get these shirts on sale).

In short, I didn't cut any corners. I'm going to wear one of these shirts as much as anyone else, and of course I'd prefer a great quality shirt, so that's what I got.

Sizes range from Medium to Extra-Extra-Large. If you're bigger or smaller than that and you really want a shirt, shoot me an e-mail and I might be able to special order one if I order another shipment of shirts.

As for color, they're only available in white. With a long hot summer ahead of us, would you really want to go outside wearing anything else???

Uh, well, it's limited. I have a good amount of shirts, but I'm not a warehouse, so if you want a shirt I wouldn't put it off for months just because you're lazy.

Okay, so you want to order? Here's what you do:

1. You can either mail me a check, or for faster service, transfer the money with PayPal (it's like an online bank). Transfer money into your PayPal account if you want to use that method.

2. Fill out this form so I know who you are, where to ship it, etc. If you want to estimate your shipping costs, see above. Choose your payment method on this form.

3. When I get your form in the mail, I'll figure out the total and then send you an e-mail. If you want to pay by check, I'll give you the info on where to send it. If you're using PayPal, I'll request the money from you through PayPal and you'll transfer it (just click the button below to pay).

4. When I receive the money, I'll ship the shirt. You just need to wait a few days for the shirt to arrive, during which time you can watch your mailbox closely or maybe even stalk your mailman. When you get your shirt, taunt your friends with it and live happily ever after.

If you have any questions, e-mail me and I'll get back to you ASAP.