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1337 b07

It seems that ever since I published AndyBot, the amount of aimbot requests I receive in my e-mail has doubled. Some of them are genuine, and some are obviously fake (like, for whatever reason, the person wants to repeat the whole AndyBot ordeal). But regardless, I try to reply to all of them in some way or another. What can end up happening is I'll be playing with the person while he's simultaneously playing with me. This can lead to some pretty weird conversations, such as the one shown here.

Subject: 1337 b07
Date: Sat, 13 Oct 2001 21:11:31 +0000
From: "l337 5(V)0k3r" <**********>
To: "DarkNova" <darknova@stomped.com>

d00d my frind andy t0ld m3 that yuo le7 him beta abo t or someting?! he t0ld me tht you mde it for ra3??? I dn;t need it for ra3 but i relly need one for retrn to castle wolfnstin. 1 herd tht it uses the same ingine a5 qake3!!!! cold j00 make a bot for that?21! i kik som 455 but it wuld ne fun witha bot too! Plz plz wright bak to m3.


P.S.- i am l4me too!! :-)

Damn, he broke my record of "3 days without an aimbot request!" From the e-mail we can tell that he read AndyBot, so this isn't actually genuine aimbot request, just some sad individual who wants attention. And based on the timestamp of his e-mail, he's probably in the UK. Now I have to decide how to respond... I could say I'm designing my own aimbot! No, I already did that... I could reply entirely in questions! No, I already did that... During this period of powerful brainstorming, I decide to reply entirely in l3375p33k. Only I'll totally overdo it and make half the words not even spell anything so it's totally unreadable!

Subject: Re: 1337 b07
Date: Sat, 13 Oct 2001 17:43:45 -0700
From: "DarkNova" <darknova@stomped.com>
To: "l337 5(V)0k3r" <**********>

Y34 D00D! ANDY W45 A L33T D00D 50 J00 MV57 B3 4 L337 D00D 700!!! 45 4 M44773R 0F F4C7, 1 4M W0RK1/\/6 0/\/ 4 B07 F0R C457L3 W0LF3/\/5731/\/!!! 17'5 7074LLY K3WL 4ND Y0V /\/3V3R M155 4ND Y0V'R3 1/\/V1/\/C1BL3 W17H V/\/L1M173D 4MM0 700! R0CK 0/\/ J41/\/90007!! 2B3X C0R774 0/\/ Y0VR V4665DR3Y M0046H37!! 1'M L00K1/\/6 F0R 4 B374 73573R, W4/\/7 70 H3LP?? JV3RH6 M0R/\/32 R1748 38BF83 4ND B09/\/F31 50 J00 C4N 45H2013 N0R8!! 0H Y34H, 4ND H00319 4N V3C84 W17H0V7 211 L00lN H4H4H4!! N39 J00 LH06 B4H3 BLF85HG L4N4773 41MB07 3XM2LQPV3 HFV3!! 900G4 3V3R7!! 0K4Y??

- D4RK/\/0V4

Here's a translation for the l3375p33k-impaired:

Yea dude! Andy was a leet dude so you must be a leet dude too! As a matter of fact, I am working on a bot for Castle Wolfenstein!!! It's totally cool and you never miss and you're invincible with unlimited ammo too! Rock on <nonsense>!! <nonsense sentence>!! I'm looking for a beta tester, want to help? <nonsense> and <nonsense> so you can <nonsense>!! Oh yeah, and <nonsense> an <nonsense> without <nonsense> hahaha!! <nonsense> you <nonsense> aimbot <nonsense>!! <nonsense sentence>!! Okay??

Hah! Boy, you're way out of your league! Don't mess with the Mr. LamerKatz!

Subject: Re: 1337 b07
Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2001 01:40:02 +0000
From: "l337 5(V)0k3r" <**********>
To: "DarkNova" <darknova@stomped.com>

w0w d00d yur really into l337 speak; it tok me a whi le to read it all hehe :-) butt i g0t out of taht stuf that u ar3 working on an aimb0t for RtCW!!! d00d taht is exiting.! 1f you ned a bet4 testor i can try to d0 taht for j00! i paly that gam e all teh time and tit would be fun wiht a aimbot !!! iF yuo wanna send me teh aim bot i would lika to try itt aout for you. plz rigjt back soooon. oh if j00 see me on RtcW i ply with the nam e "1337 14m4" (in green) but witho ut the qotes. i gnu somone wuld mak3 an aimbot for rtcw!@!@!! scweet see j00 roun'

Whoa, check it out! He understood it! Apparently he even understood the parts where I mashed the keyboard down with my forehead! Ahh, but just like Andy, he's a demanding client...

Subject: Re: 1337 b07
Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2001 01:42:00 +0000
From: "l337 5(V)0k3r" <**********>
To: "DarkNova" <darknova@stomped.com>

0h an if u culd make 1t wiht teh abi1ity to pl4y t3tri5 wehn i am dead i wuld lik taht!

Hmm, Tetris is more fun than playing with an aimbot anyway, so what's the point? I don't respond for a few days and so he decides to bug me again...

Subject: Re: 1337 b07
Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2001 20:42:21 +0000
From: "l337 5(V)0k3r" <**********>
To: "DarkNova" <darknova@stomped.com>

d00d!!! 1t hsa beeen to loong sinc3 ju rote t o me???!!! wehn ar j00 g0ne send m3 teh aimb07?!@?#??? ! n3edd it fore a l4n game i ma gonea hav3! I am patent butt e8ight d4ys is a ll ong tim3 to w4it. cmoe on d00d wh3r3 is teh aimhot>>>!??? i kn00 taht j00 are l337 soo i trust dat y00 are m4king it for RtCW!!!! butt i wnt t00 try it s0oon :( plzzzz z send tit to wme.

Yeah, it's a halfway decent Andy Leifer imitation, but I'm just not feeling it! Anyway, I guess this guy didn't learn his lesson the first time so now I need to go and shovel more random characters down his mail server.

Subject: Re: 1337 b07
Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2001 20:14:23 -0700
From: "DarkNova" <darknova@stomped.com>
To: "l337 5(V)0k3r" <**********>

8G 5M596BH 185MG 1 M985AH/\/4!!!! N39 J00 LH06 B4H3 BLF85HG L4N4773 41MB07 3XM2LQPV3 HFV3!! D0/\/7 54815?

0_o !!! :)


1 3HJ3 BV81 0901... 258Y.

- D4RK/\/0V4

Here's the basic translation:

<lots of nonsense> aimbot <lots more nonsense>
<some weird emoticon face thing>
<some nonsense URL written in l3375p33k to make it completely nonfuntional (put your mouse over it!)>
<more nonsense>

Now the question is, will he "fake" being able to read it, or will he admit that he's NOT L337?!?!

Subject: Re: 1337 b07
Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2001 11:53:58 +0000
From: "l337 5(V)0k3r" <**********>
To: "DarkNova" <darknova@stomped.com>

:-( my bfowser cant read 1337. I tried to translaet it butt evn I hvae trouyble reading yur 1337. i didt wnat to admit it but j00 are wayyyy more 1337 tahn me. :-( sorry if ii sounded mad, just anxius. culd j00 send me the link in englis? thx in advance

BWWWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I got him to admit he "cant read l337."!!!! 707411Y 0wNz3R3d 8107CH!!!!! Still, I gotta reply with something...

Subject: Re: 1337 b07
From: "DarkNova" <darknova@stomped.com>
To: "l337 5(V)0k3r" <**********>

H3Y, D1D J00 486L374C 7H3 41M/\/\807? \/\/H3/\/ J00 D0, 3/\/\41L /\/\3 7H3 621XC3G.

- D4RK/\/0V4


Hey, did you <nonsense> the aimbot? When you do, email me the <nonsense>.

I haven't heard from back from him since. Life is good :)

Copyright LamerKatz