I was just playing the game normally, having a bit of fun in deathmatch, when all of a sudden insults start flying left and right. Naturally I wasn't going to let a good opportunity for quotes pass me by, so I started taking a few screenshots. A few minutes (and a dozen screenshots) later, the argument is STILL going. So, I decide to just condump it.

After it was all over I reread the condump... WTF? I still can't figure out how this flamewar started. Something about a tooth and DSL. I don't know, just read. I stayed out of it for the most part.

Green = DarkNova[AGQx] (me) talking
Red = [EYE]Batch talking
Light Blue = RaGe talking
Yellow = JerseyHO talking
Orange = IDaHO talking
Purple = ^HIGH PING talking
Aqua = Hightower talking
Violet = Random People talking

Ahh, time to relax and play a little Quake.

^HIGH PING entered the game
[EYE]Batch entered the game
Hightower entered the game
DarkNova[AGQx] entered the game
[EYE]Batch: w/ slow modems
Hightower was electrocuted by ^HIGH PING
Hot Dog Boy entered the game
JerseyHO entered the game
^HIGH PING was gunned down by [EYE]Batch
JerseyHO killed himself.
IDaHO entered the game
[EYE]Batch was melted by Hot Dog Boy's plasmagun
IDaHO killed himself.
Hightower was melted by ^HIGH PING's plasmagun
^HIGH PING was gunned down by [EYE]Batch
RaGe entered the game
DarkNova[AGQx] was gunned down by RaGe
RaGe: hehe
DarkNova[AGQx] almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
^HIGH PING was machinegunned by RaGe
RaGe was machinegunned by ^HIGH PING
^HIGH PING was gunned down by [EYE]Batch
RaGe was electrocuted by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch ate Hot Dog Boy's rocket
^HIGH PING ate Hot Dog Boy's rocket
Hot Dog Boy was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: nice
^HIGH PING was gunned down by RaGe
Hot Dog Boy was gunned down by [EYE]Batch
RaGe was gunned down by ^HIGH PING
^HIGH PING almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
DarkNova[AGQx] was gunned down by [EYE]Batch
[EYE]Batch was machinegunned by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
^HIGH PING almost dodged RaGe's rocket
[EYE]Batch ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: damn :)
RaGe ate Hot Dog Boy's rocket
DarkNova[AGQx] almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
[EYE]Batch was machinegunned by ^HIGH PING
[EYE]Batch: fiuck
[EYE]Batch: fuck
[EYE]Batch was gunned down by RaGe
[EYE]Batch: ACK
RaGe almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
RaGe almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
^HIGH PING ate Hot Dog Boy's rocket
[EYE]Batch was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
Hot Dog Boy was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
DarkNova[AGQx] almost dodged RaGe's rocket
RaGe was electrocuted by DarkNova[AGQx]
RaGe: G1
[EYE]Batch almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING was in the wrong place.
[EYE]Batch: hahaha
Hot Dog Boy almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
RaGe was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
DarkNova[AGQx] ate ^HIGH PING's rocket
RaGe was melted by ^HIGH PING's plasmagun
^HIGH PING was electrocuted by DarkNova[AGQx]
Hot Dog Boy was electrocuted by DarkNova[AGQx]
Hot Dog Boy was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
DarkNova[AGQx] was in the wrong place.
RaGe ate [EYE]Batch's grenade
RaGe: LOL
Hot Dog Boy was machinegunned by DarkNova[AGQx]
RaGe was melted by ^HIGH PING's plasmagun
Hot Dog Boy was gunned down by ^HIGH PING
[EYE]Batch was machinegunned by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s grenade
[EYE]Batch: wtf
^HIGH PING ate Hot Dog Boy's rocket
^HIGH PING ate RaGe's rocket
^HIGH PING almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
^HIGH PING was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
[EYE]Batch almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
^HIGH PING was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
RaGe almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
JerseyHO : how that tooth idaho?

Does a comment like that have the power to start a flame war?

RaGe almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
^HIGH PING ate Hot Dog Boy's rocket
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
IDaHO: better actually
Hot Dog Boy almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
JerseyHO : cool
RaGe ate [EYE]Batch's grenade
^HIGH PING almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch was gunned down by RaGe
IDaHO: i'm thinkin' F this and hookin' up my DSL

Any flames from that innocent comment?

^HIGH PING was machinegunned by [EYE]Batch
[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
RaGe was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
^HIGH PING: you a fag or stupid?

Oh boy, there it is.

JerseyHO : can't wait
[EYE]Batch almost dodged Hot Dog Boy's rocket
[EYE]Batch: noooooooooooo
^HIGH PING: if you have dsl hook it up retard
[EYE]Batch was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
[EYE]Batch: hmm
RaGe was gunned down by Hot Dog Boy
DarkNova[AGQx] hit the fraglimit.
^HIGH PING was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
[EYE]Batch: gg
RaGe: gg
^HIGH PING: gg nova
DarkNova[AGQx]: gg
Hot Dog Boy disconnected
[EYE]Batch: this lvl sux
JerseyHO : teye patch fu
IDaHO: dumb ass i just came off a dbl shift

Here's where I start to get lost. What did Eye Patch say to deserve that? And who is IDaHO talking to? Maybe we'll find out on the next map.

[EYE]Batch entered the game
^HIGH PING entered the game
DarkNova[AGQx] entered the game
^HIGH PING: i think you came off a double dose of stupidity
[EYE]Batch: haha
[EYE]Batch: why ?
^HIGH PING almost dodged [EYE]Batch's rocket
[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
JerseyHO : is that eye patch or pussy pstch?
[EYE]Batch: hmm
[EYE]Batch: i dont know...

Lamers can thrive anywhere, even in a zero-creativity environment.

RaGe entered the game
[EYE]Batch: none?
[EYE]Batch ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
JerseyHO : twell ask your mom
^HIGH PING blew himself up.
[EYE]Batch: twell?

Yeah, twell?

^HIGH PING was electrocuted by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
JerseyHO : tyour a fag right
[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: tyour?

Yeah, tyour?

[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
RaGe almost dodged ^HIGH PING's rocket
RaGe ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING ate [EYE]Batch's grenade
JerseyHO : tell me where you live and you'll need an eye patch bitch
[EYE]Batch: hmm
[EYE]Batch: uhuh
[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING: that's a brown eye patch to keep his loose asshole from leaking

Apparently he doesn't know where an EYE patch goes.

[EYE]Batch: stupiud HBP
[EYE]Batch does a back flip into the lava.
^HIGH PING: idaho?
JerseyHO : know from experence
[EYE]Batch: loose asshole from leaking eh?
^HIGH PING: are you from that fucked up state?
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
IDaHO: what
[EYE]Batch: experence?
^HIGH PING: how long have you been such an idiot?
JerseyHO : ask your mom
[EYE]Batch: learn to spell idiot
RaGe was gunned down by DarkNova[AGQx]
^HIGH PING: uh...gee...george....I think i'll hook up my dsl....ah that's right george...dsl
RaGe: g1
JerseyHO : learn to plat cocksucker
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: plat cocksucker?
IDaHO: hehehe
[EYE]Batch: plat?

Learn to plat, damnit! Er, yeah.

^HIGH PING: idaho your an idiot
JerseyHO : i'm spelling so you can read jagoff

Can anyone figure out what that last comment means?

^HIGH PING: jerk off
[EYE]Batch: whats a plat cocksucker?
JerseyHO : jagoff
^HIGH PING: idaho is
[EYE]Batch: whats a experence?
Hightower: all of you are idiots

Finally, a smart person enters the scene. Unfortunately, the lamers are quick to surround and devour him...

IDaHO: is that what they send you to college for......to watch cartoons
RaGe almost dodged [EYE]Batch's rocket
^HIGH PING: hightower are you black?
^HIGH PING: you have a black sounding name....
[EYE]Batch: man all of you dont make sense
Hightower: what do you think
[EYE]Batch was gunned down by RaGe
[EYE]Batch: what about cartoons now?
^HIGH PING: hightower
JerseyHO : just because you suck at this game, your a bitch
[EYE]Batch was gunned down by RaGe
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
RaGe: damn lagg
^HIGH PING: do you and eye patch have a thing going
IDaHO: no the other dumb ass
[EYE]Batch: wait
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: me?
[EYE]Batch: suck
[EYE]Batch: haha
Hightower: ya blame it on the lag
JerseyHO : suck cock
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: suck cock?
[NJC]NiKoN* connected
[EYE]Batch: wait a sec
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING: hightower you can't play ...so what the fuck is your black ass talking about?
[EYE]Batch: im not blaming anythign on lag no w
JerseyHO : make sure you swallow
[EYE]Batch: swollow?
[NJC]NiKoN* entered the game
[EYE]Batch was machinegunned by [NJC]NiKo
[NJC]NiKo ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: damn all of you are lame
Hightower: you just know i can kick your ass
[EYE]Batch: you dont kill ppl when they are tyyping you know
JerseyHO : anythign?
[NJC]NiKo almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: hmm
JerseyHO : dumbass
[EYE]Batch: Jer, you kick my ass?
RaGe almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: play you jerk off
^HIGH PING: uh....geee george.......my name is hightower........and i can kick your ass......that's right george
DarkNova[AGQx] ate [NJC]NiKo's rocket
[NJC]NiKo ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING: shut the fuck up you stupid uneducated idiot
RaGe blew himself up.
DarkNova[AGQx] blew herself up.
Hightower: for your info im not black asshole
[NJC]NiKo almost dodged [EYE]Batch's rocket
RaGe: lol
JerseyHO : what are you 10 years old you little cocksucker
^HIGH PING: you have a brown asshole right?
[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: no im not 10 years old for sure...
[EYE]Batch: i dont know about you th
RaGe ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: tho
JerseyHO : well you act it
[EYE]Batch: you know such big words for a little kid
[EYE]Batch: 1i act it
^HIGH PING: hightower you still have sex with animals?
[EYE]Batch: roflmao
[NJC]NiKo does a back flip into the lava.
[EYE]Batch: your the one telling me to suck cock and swallow etc...
[EYE]Batch: come on
Hightower: get the facts before you open your cocksuckin mouth

All this time I've been taking screenshots... but now it's condump time.

]\condump haha1
Dumped console text to haha1.
[EYE]Batch: Hightower, you talking to me?
JerseyHO : just because you lose you have to talk shit
Hightower: you must swallow

If I'm gonna take a condump, maybe I can stir the lamers up a little more.

DarkNova[AGQx]: you guys are funny
[EYE]Batch: dood, stay outa it
[NJC]NiKo ate RaGe's rocket
^HIGH PING: what do you swallow you fucking stupid named faggot
[NJC]NiKoN*: tdo ya swallow
[EYE]Batch: im not talking shit
[EYE]Batch: where the fuck did that come from
JerseyHO : someone kick eye pussy patch
[EYE]Batch: please do
[EYE]Batch: your the one not playing
^HIGH PING: hightower is the one who was on the SD server trying to play sex games with a kid......
[EYE]Batch: thats all im saying
^HIGH PING: that's why i'm fucking with him
[EYE]Batch: you cant tell me i suck and your not playin g
Hightower: all of you are just some fucked up children
^HIGH PING: your a fucked up loser
TURK connected
JerseyHO : wanna bet
TURK entered the game
[EYE]Batch: me? a fucked up child? hehe
[EYE]Batch: whatever
ruhkaas connected
DarkNova[AGQx]: okay how did all this start?
Hightower entered the game
RaGe ate [NJC]NiKo's rocket
[EYE]Batch: who knows Dark
^HIGH PING: hightower get you finger out of your asshole a learn to play
[EYE]Batch: im just trying to get these guys off my back
[NJC]NiKo almost dodged TURK's rocket
ruhkaas entered the game
TURK ate ruhkaas's rocket
ruhkaas ate TURK's rocket
IDaHO: i think jersey asked about my tooth

See? THAT'S HOW IT STARTED! WTF?!?!

ruhkaas almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
ruhkaas almost dodged Hightower's rocket
TURK does a back flip into the lava.
[EYE]Batch: hehe
[EYE]Batch: well
[NJC]NiKo almost dodged Hightower's rocket
^HIGH PING almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING cratered.
[NJC]NiKo was machinegunned by TURK
JerseyHO : just shut your fucking mouth and play
DarkNova[AGQx] hit the fraglimit.
Hightower ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: i dotn know why he woudl think i was talking shit on him when he asked that hehe
[EYE]Batch: haha
^HIGH PING: hightower is a faggot
[EYE]Batch: i wanna see your play Jersey :)
DarkNova[AGQx]: gg?

I don't know how accurate my last comment was.

Hightower: what's up pussye
ruhkaas: how do you take screenshots?

He's probably doing the same thing I am :)

[EYE]Batch: LOL
^HIGH PING: can't even spell pussy
[EYE]Batch: im in second w/ 3 frags

[EYE]Batch entered the game
^HIGH PING entered the game
TURK entered the game
ruhkaas entered the game
DarkNova[AGQx] entered the game
Hightower: i dont see you playing
Hightower entered the game
]\condump haha2
Dumped console text to haha2.

Lesson #1 of condumps: the console only stores so many lines!

[NJC]NiKoN* entered the game
[EYE]Batch was blasted by ^HIGH PING's BFG
^HIGH PING was machinegunned by [NJC]NiKo
[EYE]Batch: wow there
Hightower was melted by TURK's plasmagun
TURK was pummeled by ruhkaas
ruhkaas: gahah
[NJC]NiKo was machinegunned by [EYE]Batch
[EYE]Batch was gunned down by ^HIGH PING
RaGe timed out
TURK was blasted by ^HIGH PING's BFG
^HIGH PING was machinegunned by [NJC]NiKo
[NJC]NiKo was blasted by ^HIGH PING's BFG
[EYE]Batch was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch: nice
TURK was melted by Hightower's plasmagun
ruhkaas was in the wrong place.
ruhkaas: haha]
^HIGH PING was in the wrong place.
TURK was in the wrong place.
[EYE]Batch was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
[NJC]NiKo was in the wrong place.
JerseyHO : kick the shit out of eye patch highping
^HIGH PING was blasted by Hightower's BFG
[EYE]Batch: hehe
Hightower was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch: he prolly will
[EYE]Batch was electrocuted by ruhkaas
[EYE]Batch: so who cares
[NJC]NiKo was in the wrong place.
ruhkaas was melted by Hightower's plasmagun
TURK was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
ruhkaas was machinegunned by TURK
JerseyHO : cause you suck
^HIGH PING was in the wrong place.
[EYE]Batch: i hate all these ppl who killing me when im typing
[EYE]Batch: hmm
Hightower was melted by [NJC]NiKo's plasmagun
DarkNova[AGQx] was in the wrong place.
[EYE]Batch: please dont tell me that when your NOT playing
^HIGH PING was railed by TURK
Hightower was in the wrong place.
[EYE]Batch: please dont insult my poor mind
JerseyHO : then don't type asshole
[EYE]Batch: ok?
^HIGH PING was railed by TURK
^HIGH PING was gunned down by [EYE]Batch
DarkNova[AGQx] was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
Hightower was in the wrong place.
[NJC]NiKo was railed by TURK
TURK was electrocuted by [NJC]NiKo
^HIGH PING was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
[EYE]Batch was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
Hightower was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
^HIGH PING was in the wrong place.
[EYE]Batch: my poor mind cannot handle such violence
[EYE]Batch was gunned down by TURK
Hightower almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[NJC]NiKo ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
^HIGH PING ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
TURK was in the wrong place.
[EYE]Batch was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
TURK almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch almost dodged DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[EYE]Batch: nice one
JerseyHO : thats because your parents were retarded

I didn't know retarded parents caused a kid's mind not able to handle such violence. Um, yeah.

ruhkaas was melted by Hightower's plasmagun
DarkNova[AGQx] was blasted by TURK's BFG
^HIGH PING was blasted by TURK's BFG
[NJC]NiKo was melted by Hightower's plasmagun
Hightower was blasted by TURK's BFG
[EYE]Batch: yeah they are SOOOOOOOOOOOO retarded
^HIGH PING was blasted by TURK's BFG
TURK was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch was machinegunned by [NJC]NiKo
^HIGH PING was machinegunned by DarkNova[AGQx]
Hightower was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch: dats whi i typu loke dis

Heh, listen to that counter-argument!

TURK was machinegunned by DarkNova[AGQx]
^HIGH PING was machinegunned by DarkNova[AGQx]
ruhkaas was machinegunned by [NJC]NiKo
ruhkaas: aajh
Hightower cratered.
TURK was in the wrong place.
[NJC]NiKo was melted by ruhkaas's plasmagun
[EYE]Batch was railed by ^HIGH PING
[EYE]Batch: hehe
^HIGH PING was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
DarkNova[AGQx] ate TURK's rocket
^HIGH PING was melted by ruhkaas's plasmagun
Hightower was in the wrong place.
BiggPakker connected
DarkNova[AGQx] was in the wrong place.

I don't remember this suicide, but I don't think it was my fault. Probably lag or something.

TURK blew himself up.
^HIGH PING was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
DarkNova[AGQx] was blasted by [EYE]Batch's BFG
^HIGH PING was in the wrong place.
TURK ate ruhkaas's rocket
BiggPakker entered the game
Hightower ate ruhkaas's rocket
^HIGH PING was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
[NJC]NiKo ate [EYE]Batch's rocket
BiggPakker disconnected
^HIGH PING was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
Hightower was in the wrong place.
Hightower: hehe
[NJC]NiKo was machinegunned by ^HIGH PING
TURK was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
DarkNova[AGQx] was blasted by [EYE]Batch's BFG
^HIGH PING was in the wrong place.
TURK was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
^HIGH PING was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
Hightower ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
[NJC]NiKo was pummeled by TURK
^HIGH PING was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
[NJC]NiKo melted himself.
TURK was blasted by ^HIGH PING's BFG
[EYE]Batch ate Hightower's rocket
Hightower was blasted by [EYE]Batch's BFG
[NJC]NiKo was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
[NJC]NiKo ate DarkNova[AGQx]'s rocket
Hightower was machinegunned by TURK
[NJC]NiKo was blasted by [EYE]Batch's BFG
^HIGH PING was melted by DarkNova[AGQx]'s plasmagun
DarkNova[AGQx] blew herself up.

Neither was this one! I swear!

Hightower was machinegunned by ^HIGH PING
^HIGH PING was melted by TURK's plasmagun
TURK was machinegunned by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
Hightower was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
DarkNova[AGQx] was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
[NJC]NiKo was blasted by ruhkaas's BFG
ruhkaas was railed by ^HIGH PING
ruhkaas: haa
DarkNova[AGQx] was melted by [EYE]Batch's plasmagun
TURK was blasted by ^HIGH PING's BFG
^HIGH PING was melted by [EYE]Batch's plasmagun
Hightower almost dodged ruhkaas's rocket
[NJC]NiKo was melted by TURK's plasmagun
ruhkaas was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
DarkNova[AGQx] was machinegunned by ^HIGH PING
[NJC]NiKo was melted by TURK's plasmagun
^HIGH PING was blasted by [EYE]Batch's BFG
DarkNova[AGQx] hit the fraglimit.
[EYE]Batch was railed by DarkNova[AGQx]
[EYE]Batch: gg
ruhkaas: jahah
^HIGH PING: gg
DarkNova[AGQx]: gg
Hightower: hehee
[EYE]Batch: latez all
Hightower: lol
[NJC]NiKoN^ disconnected
[EYE]Batch: GG's
Hightower: pussies
[EYE]Batch: PFT

Okay, looks like the fun is over.

[EYE]Batch entered the game
^HIGH PING entered the game
TURK entered the game
ruhkaas entered the game
DarkNova[AGQx] entered the game
Hightower entered the game
DarkNova[AGQx] does a back flip into the lava.
TURK was machinegunned by Hightower
[EYE]Batch: you need something better to do than torment the wetodddid people...
TURK was pummeled by ruhkaas
[EYE]Batch: see ya fags...may we never meet again

Little do they realize I'm organizing a Lamer Reunion!

[EYE]Batch disconnected
TURK was railed by ruhkaas
TURK ate Hightower's rocket
Hog Deployer[HOG] connected
]\condump haha3
Dumped console text to haha3.

Just another day on the job.