Posted on alt.games.quake3 by pF.Sand-Viper

This condump was posted to alt.games.quake3 (AGQ3). It's not exactly a "real" condump, rather a fictional account of what would happen if all these people from the AGQ3 newsgroup got together for a game. All the names are based on real people in the newsgroup, so pay attention to the character descriptions.

Green = pF.SandViper (the cool guy) talking
Red = a.j. (lame troll) talking
Light Blue = whuz (moron who never makes any sense) talking
Yellow = [CRAP]Jonathan Winston (guy who whines about condumps being posted) talking
Orange = [Lame] h4X0r (CAPS LOCK IDIOT) talking
Purple = NopBot (aimbot-using cheater) talking
Aqua = l337_wannabe (l33t software pirate who begs for cd-keys) talking
Violet = Anyone else talking

I had like 10 minutes to kill, so I figure it'd be fun to fire up some Q3 and head to a public server. Oh, the fun that followed.....

[Lame] h4X0r: THIS CDKEY GEN I MADE ROX!!!!!!!!!
l337_wannabe: GIMMIE!!!!!
[CRAP]Jonathan Winston: Please don't post condumps in the newsgroup
pF.SandViper: Heyas!
a.j.: babble on moron
whuz: worry about the overall consequences of your selfish choices
[cool]d00d: wtf are you saying???
pF.SandViper: lol
a.j.: babble on cheaters
pF.SandViper was railed by a.j
pF.SandViper: Nice Shot!!
a.j.: stut up asshole!!!!
wHyAMiHer3: rotfl! stut?

What luck! I get to play RA3 with such esteemed Quakers

CDkeYpir4t3 Server command overflow
NopBoT connected
a.j. ate whuz's rocket
a.j.: cheating asshole!!!!
pF.SandViper: gg
[cool]d00d: gg
wHyAMiHer3: gg
[Lame] h4X0r: I LOVE MAH KEY!!!!!
l337_wannabe: EMAIL IT TO ME!!!!!
a.j was electrocuted by pF.SandViper
a.j.: fucker
pF.SandViper: =P
[Lame] h4X0r was electrocuted by whuz
[Lame] h4X0r: lucky shot
l337_wannabe: I got a screenshot.
NopBot: post it in the quake newsgroup. they hate that.
[CRAP]Jonathan Winston ate pF.SandViper's rocket
[CRAP]Jonathan Winston: just don't post a condump. they suck
[cool]d00d was railed by NopBot
wHyAMiHer3 was railed by NopBot
whuz was railed by NopBot

uh-oh, just me and the bot. Whatever shall I do????

a.j.: kill that sandviper
whuz: and that van is 165 "sweet" coool
wHyAMiHer3: ??
NopBot: pheare my deadly aim!!!!
pF.SandViper: Bring it on

So I saw NopBot coming at me with his RG. Both of us were on top of Castle Deathstalker, and I used the roof as cover. It was scary, hearing all thos RG shots hitting the roof in front of me. I had one chance, to RJ off the roof, onto the wall overlooking the garden. I barely made it, and managed to jump down onto the upper walkway, in time to hear the RG hit the wall behind me. I knew NopBot would be persistent, and I was counting on that.

[cool]d00d: nice jump man
NopBot was in the wrong place
wHyAMiHer3: rotflmao
pF.SandViper: hehe
[cool]d00d: ggs
a.j.: babble on moron
whuz: the gas in this cycle is 95% pure
[Lame] h4X0r: YOU GUYS ARE CRAP!!!!
[CRAP]Jonathan Winston: and so are condumps
NopBot: I have been deceived, pheare my wrath!!!!!!!
NopBot ate pF.SandViper's rocket

Spawn rape, gotta love it.

pF.SandViper was railed by [Lame] h4X0r
pF.SandViper: Nice Shot!!
a.j.: babble on moron
a.j. was railed by [cool]d00d
a.j.: asshole I was talkin
whuz: the architecture of the floor is amazing
NopBot: PHEARE MY DEDLY SKILLZ AND LOW PING
NopBot Server command overflow
pF.SandViper: lol
whuz disconnected
a.j. disconnected

aww, isn't that cute. Leaving together

[CRAP]Jonathan Winston: who else hates condumps???
pF.SandViper: I think more ppl hate you =P
]/condump agq3.txt